Tired Navel-Gazing

I took this glorious long walk on Thursday up to Delphine’s school to help out in her class mask making party. It’s a good solid 1 1/2 hour hike there. Takes about an hour to get back (downhill).

Friday I woke up feeling, well, wrung out. DeNova and I took eight Campfire girls to a corn maze after work. I felt good. It was great being outside and walking with DeNova. The girls were amazing. They found all of the stamps and earned a tiny pumpkin each.

In a mere ten minutes I cooked up a dinner, fed the kids, applied costume make-up and got them into the car for Boo-Bingo at our swim club. That’s, like, my all-time best.

Boo-Bingo ended with some pretty strong cramps (and, uh, embarrassing FARTS) so I grabbed Francois in mid-conversation with our friend Peter, dragged the kids to the car and beat it out of there.

I was WORN OUT Friday evening.

Saturday I woke up feeling, just, lousy tired. An hour later, I felt great! I helped the kids with their pumpkins, made lunches — and crashed at 1pm for a three hour nap.

I have this wierd cold where I suddenly have tons of symptoms and then, viola, I’m clear.

For awhile I thought I was allergic to this wonderful lotion I’ve been using to massage my arm and chest. (Thanks Melissa!!) So I stopped the lotion massage — and my arm tightened up! ARrrrgghhh.

I’m an energy yo-yo. It’s like my cell counts go down in spurts and fight their way back up, only to be slammed down again. I have no idea if that is what is really going on, of course. I’m probably just a whuss and using a few tired moments as an excuse to indulge in some navel-gazing.

I feel great. I can’t wait to go on a long walk with Ilona tomorrow morning.

Have I mentioned that Diet Coke is the very best tasting drink I can find now?

When I get self-indulgent like this, I like to google cancer sites and read about myself. Seriously. There’s no hope for me!!

So tonight for some reason I kept running into ‘Survivor Profiles’. These are, well, like the super-athletes of cancer. These are the men, women and children who work full time, manage a young family, develop an interest in competitive ice-skating and write inspirational profiles all while dealing with nasty 12 month chemo treatments for stage III and IV cancers.

I think I’m very happy staring at my hairy knee, thank you. I love being a slacker.

And a big thank you to everyone around me who lets me just be a slacker. My life is very good because of all of you.


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