Ten days after Delphine’s birth, my mom left to go back home to her house. After she left, I laid down in the middle of the living room floor and just listened to the fatique of my body. Willing oneself to move, after moving into that place of rest in the midst of fatigue, is a creaky, pulling, achy expression of will.
Take that same creaky, pulling, achy expression of will and tie that to every physical move you make — standing from a sitting position, sitting up straight, chewing… When I swallowed small bites of my prune and whole wheat bread sandwich, I fought the desire to just stop swallowing and rest halfway through. Not a healthy choice, I think!! I took a nap — and even after I was aware of being awake, I just lay there with my eyes closed for awhile because it was too much effort to open them!
But — the new anti-nausea drug works really well. It’s 9:30, I’ve got 4 out of 5 anti-nausea drugs in me, and I’m just now starting to feel a bit queasy. I took number 5 and sat down a bit. So, here I am.
I have a slight headache.
I’m a bit bloated and puffy.
BUT — last week was wonderful. I felt better than I have felt since the surgery. I swam every night, conferenced with my students, made dishes for potlucks, celebrated Paul’s birthday — twice!! I still tired easily going up hills and more quickly in workouts than I would have before surgery — I feel like I’m carrying a 40 lb backpack, even though I slimmed down after surgery. But I feel strong.
And even today, with the fatigue, I have no energy or endurance — but I feel strong. I picked a sleeping Delphine up and carried her to her bed. She’s a good 60 pounds or so.
And now, the next time I’ll feel great, will be Thanksgiving. That’s going to be very fun.
My next chemo is Monday, December 1st because the day after Thanksgiving is a holiday.
THANK YOU Ramona and Breck for the FABULOUS pot roast today! I’m going to make sure there’s some left when I hope to be meat ready Sunday.
p.s. Hair stubble is still falling from the poles and the canary is getting weaker, but still holding on.
p.p.s. My cell counts were good (platelets too!) but I’m slightly anemic — 34 when 37 is normal, or something like that.