June 17, 2014 — STAGE IV
- I’ve been living the aftermath of cancer, even if the disease hasn’t been active in my body. In the last ten years, I’ve witnessed the cancer deaths of my sister-in-law (2005), my then 11-year-old daughter’s friend’s father (2011), my own father (2009), our donor-son’s mother (2010) and my cousin-in-law (2014).
- I’ve walked through stress and anxiety related disorders that have threatened the lives of those close to me, children and parents.
- My own PTSD and chemo brain and being generally fucked up. I have not been the person I would like to be with others who are walking these difficult paths. Distractability and memory issues combine with emotional repression and avoidance to create a pretty piss poor response to others close to me and in need.
The DONOR family!
- Janis Hart, Medora Marisseau, Nancy Hart and James Hart (BIG BIG HEARTS!)
- Anne and Matt Markell
- L.E. and C.R.
INCREDIBLE LEVELS of: Healing, Self-Actualization, Growth, Community, Connection, Authenticity, Honesty, Gratitude, Happiness, Love, Friendship, Collegiality, Strength
Details will follow, bit by bit. I am hoping I will have a lot of time to update you. But I will leave you, today, with this:
If never getting cancer would have meant never having these positive experiences (especially meeting the donor family), I am very grateful to cancer.