The Short Days Seem Long

Suzy Update: The waiting is hard, she says, as each day creeps by with no measure.  She straddles the present and the unknown, and is torn between wanting the wait to be over, and the hesitancy of wondering what does that “over” mean for her.  It’s the first time I’ve ever seen my fierce girl draw back.  Her catnaps have lengthened into long bouts of sleep, but it is still the light sleep of life, not the deeper sleep that signals the end is closing in.  At times when she’s awake she avidly listens to the daily hum of life around her, smiling at the silly stories I save up just for her, eating the better part of a cheeseburger that Francois has brought her. Each day he tries to tempt her with a burger, and some days it works.   But other days she just wants a lemon drop, solitude, and another nap.  


5 thoughts on “The Short Days Seem Long”

  1. No matter how many times we sit and share at the end of someone’s life–a person who connected with us and made a difference at some point–at the end we are still left not knowing what to do or how to make things better for those who were her closest inner circle of family and friends.
    Je suis vraiment désolé

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  2. Thank you for the update. I am a planet with an erratic orbit, drawn in from far away. May we all have friends like you when we need them. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Something I shared with Suzy back in
    April 2015: “You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

    And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

    And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

    And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.”
    —Aaron Freeman

    “Visible Light” photo-series by Alexander Harding

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  4. Suzy, as I was thinking about you and praying for you, this scripture just started ringing in my head, because it so describes who you are: “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work…” I Cor. 9:8. You are a channel of good things!!! That is how I remember you from HS, and from all I have read in your blogging and seen on fb, how you live. You let goodness and encouragement flow through you to others. Compassion and wisdom, and a listening heart you share in abundance. You break bread and share it with others. I kept hearing the word ” grace” as I was thinking of you. You were a channel of God’s grace to me in Jr. Hi, probably a little thing to you, but a big thing for me. Encouraging me and speaking into my heart that I could do it when we were on the newspaper together. That meant so much, as it called something out in me. I can only imagine how much you have impacted others and called things out in them, as a friend, a neighbor, a teacher, a wife, a mom…….grace is all over you, Suzy, and you shine with the goodness of this gift from God, that you have not kept to yourself, but passed on to so many!!!🌞🌞🌞


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